Remember Me?
by heroherondaletotheresuce
Summary: Rose is a patient at the hospital 'Idris Royal' where Jem weekly donates his time to giving back to the community, as well as Tessa and William. What happens, when Jem finds out that Rose who he has become close to in the last few months is about to die? R&R Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns all her characters, i just own my plot and OC.
1. Salvation

**One Shot** – Jem/Rose – [Romance, Humour and Friendship.]

**Song: **The Kooks – Naïve, Eskimo Kiss and Ooh La.

**Plot** – _Rose is a patient at the hospital 'Idris Royal' where Jem weekly donates his time to giving back to the community, as well as Tessa and William. What happens, when Jem finds out that Rose who he has become close to in the last few months is about to die?_

Jem walked through the hallway, the sound of his sneakers squeaking on the white tiles echoing throughout the quiet ICU wing. He was wheeling around a cart full of blossoming flowers, novels and little quaint care packages donated from his school for the hospital. As a part of an extra credit program currently running at the Institute, each student had to participate in some form of community service at least once a week til they graduated in the following months. Jem had specifically asked to do his service at Idris Royal Hospital. When he was sick as a child he stayed here, at this hospital for weeks and at times even months. They had helped him get better and took care of him, allowing him to be where he was now and he wanted to give something back. He offered to take the ICU and Recovery wards whilst Tessa and William worked on the Children's wing on the other side of the building, which was at least double the size of the ICU.

As usual he left Rose til last, allowing him to spend some more time with her. Jem had met Rose around three months ago; she had been rushed into the ICU, and stayed there for at least a week with a tumour in her brain. She was rushed into surgery and ever since has been staying in the recovering unit, attempting to get better, but under the doctors watchful eyes, in case it decided to reappear. He befriended her, knowing how it felt to be cooped up in a hospital, day after day not being able to spend time with anyone your own age, or even talk to someone besides your doctor most of the time.

He spotted her number 8RC and walked up to the slightly ajar door excited and when he saw her he couldn't help but chuckle silently to himself. Rose had her IV drip in her arm, and was trying to reach the sketch book sitting on the side table that had happened to just be out of her reach. The tip of her tongue was peeking out between her lips, as she concentrated on getting the book; her eyes were focused on it, as though she had telekinesis and could just make it come to her. That's when he noticed the cheeky look on her face before she tried to pull out the painful IV drip, allowing her free movement and not having a needle stuck in her skin. He opened the door more; giving him space to walk in and cleared his throat gaining her attention as her other hand was just about to pull out the tube.

"Jem… Hi." She said, biting her lip before awkwardly dropping her hand and acting like she wasn't doing what it looked like. She ran her hand through the mass of curls, falling onto her shoulders and shrugged her shoulders slightly, ushering him into the room.

"Rose." Jem nodded respectfully, walking into the room and taking a seat next to her bed on the arm chair and raising his eyebrow, looking pointedly at her IV drip and hands.

"I wasn't-"but she was cut off by Jem.

"Rose do we really have to have this discussion again?" Jem asked seriously, and she shook her head, looking down embarrassed. He had caught her trying to pull out the drip a few weeks back, which wouldn't be good, it'd just be more painful to put it back in and it wouldn't be good for her health either. She had promised not to take it out again, but here they were.

"I couldn't reach my book." She said pouting slightly, leaning back on the fluffy pillows her mother had brought for her on her last visit, in an attempt to bring peace between her and her sick daughter.

"Why didn't you just press the button and ask for a nurse to come?" he countered, trying not to give in to the soft and innocent look her teal blue eyes were giving him.

"I hate that nurse; all she does is scold me and then not even do what I asked her." Rose said, huffing and crossing her arms and Jem couldn't help but laugh at her little temper tantrum, and he couldn't help his mind slip in the thought that she looked adorable when she was angry. He picked up the sketch book and handed it over to her along with the mechanical pencil sitting next to it.

"Anything else Miss?" he teased, folding the woollen blankets that were sprawled across the floor, most likely because of her adventures of trying to get the book.

"No thankyou good sir." She said, tilting her head down in mocking manner.

"How were your errands today?" she asked, changing the subject as she sat up a bit, crossing her legs. She was thankful that her doctor had allowed her to start wearing her own clothes as long as they were loose and in no way constricting of the blood.

"Good, as usual really quiet in the ICU, though Nigel was awake and did say hello." Jem relayed.

"Nigel, that cheeky bastard stole my sketchbook the other day. Look, it's ruined." She exclaimed, flipping the book open and showing Jem the horrible drawings and failed sketches of what seemed to be a duck pond. Most of the pages were covered in pen marks and the others were torn at the corners. Jem frowned, looking at her sceptically.

"How could have Nigel ruined it if he was in the ICU… unconscious for the last week." He said a confused expression on his face. Rose opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again a defeated expression falling upon her face.

"Well somebody, I don't know who it is… owes me a new sketchbook." She sighed, tossing it to the side and closing her eyes for a moment. Jem walked back out to his cart and looked along the shelves, he was sure that he saw a spare book somewhere… unfortunately it looked like it was missing, instead he picked out a gorgeous daisy from a bunch of flowers and walked into the room and handed it to Rose.

"Compensation for the ruined book." Jem smiled at her. Her heart warmed at the gesture. She accepted it with grins and all, sniffing the flower and smiling content with the flower and the company. She loved it when Jem came to visit her, it was relaxing, and she felt normal, not like a sick girl who was dying. This train of thought reminded her of the bad news that Doctor Branwell had delivered to her the previous day. Along with this she was given the task of informing her friend of her now serious condition. She moved to the edge of the bed, hanging her feet off and patted the spot next to her motioning for Jem to come and sit next to her.

"I've got some bad news." She said softly, her fingers playing with a piece of loose string on her thin grey jumper.

"Out with it then, it'll be ok." Jem said throwing a gentle smile her way, trying to ease her nerves and lift the frown that was on her face.

"Well I just thought you should know since- well I'd like to think we've become good friends an-and I have to tell you." Rose said her voice cracking and she tried so hard not to break down before she got the rest of the words out.

"The tumour came back. Doctor Branwell said this time he has to operate as soon as possible to get rid of it and prevent it from coming back again." She choked out, the tears running down her cheeks. Jem just started at her for a moment, frozen. He had certainly not expected that. The doctors had said that there was a ninety per cent chance that it would never come back. He pulled her into a hug, his arms holding her close for a while as she cried, rubbing circles on her back and trying to calm her down.

Jem pulled back from her, holding her face in his hands, and rubbed the tears away from her cheeks. He tilted her head up, so that her eyes were staring into his. He looked at her with as much strength and courage as he possible could and he told her it would be okay. He told her that they would get through it together, that he would be there along the way to help her through it, and that's when she started crying even more.

"But you don't understand Jem. He said that there was a high risk I wouldn't get my memory back." She said, letting the bomb drop in the room.

"T-that means, I'd forget everything I've ever known. Means that I'd forget you." She breathed out. She was so angry with herself, and she didn't know why. She just couldn't do anything about her condition, she was helpless. Either get rid of the tumour and forget everyone she's ever loved and everything she's ever done or leave it and well… then die.

"No-no Shh. It's going to be okay, I promise you Rose. I promise you that you won't forget me." He whispered into her hair and kissed her forehead. Moments later Doctor Branwell walked into the room, not expecting to see the two friends, hugging and well crying. Henry assumed that Rose had told Jem of her current condition. He left the two to their own resolve for another few minutes before knocking on the door politely and grabbing their attention.

"I'm sorry to disturb you two, but Rose we've got a scan scheduled, for well now and I need you to come with me for a bit. It'll only take a five or ten minutes." Jem detached himself from Rose, ruffling her hair slightly, and putting on a strong façade, for her sake. She needed someone to be strong for her whilst she couldn't be for herself.

After Rose left with Henry he was pacing the room trying to come to terms with the fact that one of his close friends, hell someone that he wasn't sure how he felt about was going to forget him. He was sure that he cared for her, that's for sure, but whether it was a simple crush or whether he loved her was something completely different and it made this situation all the more confusing. After a few minutes of running his fingers through his hair trying to keep his calm resolve he sat down on the chair in the private room Rose had here at the hospital.

Rose walked in a few minutes later, seeing Jem sitting down on the arm chair. She walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder, gaining his attention.

"I want you to promise me something, no matter how much I don't remember or don't want to remember, I want you to promise me that you won't give up on me." She asked, hoping that he would do that for her. It was scary enough to go under this operation, but to go under knowing that if she lost her memory, that no one would remember her or bother to help her remember was far scarier.

"I promise you." Jem said and he ended up staying overnight with Rose. He had to leave the next day to go to the institute but every day after that he came over and visited her, leaving flowers next to her bedside table if she was asleep and when she was awake, they talked and laughed and tried to get through it. She had started to accept the situation she was in and she figured that if she had the support of Jem and even William and Tessa who had come to visit as well that she'd be alright.

Rose decided to start a video journal. Every day til the 21st of November which was the set date for the operation she would make an entry. Talking about how fun her day was and also about her past, so that if she did forget, at least she could remember the person she was before, the life she had before. Even though she didn't want to include some of the painful memories of her past she had to. It's what made her strong and not naïve. It's what kept her as her own person. She gave the tapes over to Jem, explaining what they were and that they were only to be opened if she didn't remember anything and if she wasn't cooperating properly with her treatments or anyone's help. Jem agreed and had promised to take care of them.

Before they knew it was the morning of the 21st of November. Rose had taken a shower that morning, making sure to clean her hair properly and scrub down, she wasn't sure when the next time she'd be able to have a shower on her own. She wasn't allowed to eat anything, so she simply had a glass of cold water and prepared for the operation that would take place in a mere hour or two. Once she was out and into the room, Doctor Branwell, Tessa, William and Jem were all sitting there along with Rose's mother. Her mother brought her into a hug and started crying, and Rose tried to reassure her as best as she could. Tessa was next hugging her and wishing her the best of luck with her operation, William too joined in on the hug and last but not least Jem. They didn't say anything, the two just stood next to each other as Mr Branwell went through the plan for the operation. They were about to move into the prep room when Jem wasn't by her side anymore.

"You're only allowed one family member in the operating room when you go under. You should let your mother go with you." He said, knowing what she was going to ask. The thing was though that she didn't want her mother there. Her mother's anxious exterior made Rose even more nervous and she wanted Jem by her side, he calmed her down and it made this all less frightening. Her mother seemed to notice how Rose was feeling and walked over to Rose.

"Honey, Jem can go in with you. I'm feeling a bit squeamish as it is." She said kissing her on the forehead and walking over to the waiting area, leaving Jem and Rose alone in the room, and Dr Branwell waiting outside for the two. She walked out of the room, hoping that Jem would follow, and when she heard the footsteps behind her, she sighed in relief. The time flew by and before she knew it, she was laying down on the gurney and being rolled into the operating room, she had multiple tubes and needles in her hand, connected to her arms. The doctor was prepping the anaesthetics and Rose turned her head to see Jem, looking nervous as hell. She reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it lightly. He looked down at her, and he was scared for her.

"Hey, it'll be alright." She said her voice barely above a whisper.

"What if it isn't, what if you forget." He said a frown forming on his beautiful face.

"I could never forget you James, I promise." She lied, knowing full well of the chance of her memory staying, after all the doctor had discussed with her the high risk this operation came with. He smiled at her, kissing her on the cheek as the doctor injected the anaesthesia into her blood stream and slowly her world faded away into darkness.

**If you would like a second chapter to this please do tell me in the review. Really hope you enjoyed this, and hopefully I'll have the second chapter up within the next few days at the latest. **

**Thanks for all your support guys! Til next time. x**


	2. Panic Chord

**Chapter 2 – **Wings

NOTE – In this AU they are all in their senior year, Age – 18.

Previously on_ 'Remember Me?" _–

"_**Hey, it'll be alright." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. **_

"_**What if it isn't, what if you forget?" he said a frown forming on his beautiful face. **_

"_**I could never forget you James, I promise." She lied, knowing full well of the chance of her memory staying, after all the doctor had discussed with her the high risk this operation came with. He smiled at her, kissing her on the cheek as the doctor injected the anaesthesia into her blood stream and slowly her world faded away into darkness. **_

Rose's surgery commenced on the 21st of November, lasting for approximately 13 hours. Doctor Branwell and his team had successfully removed the tumour and were sure that there wouldn't be any complications in the future. Though there was a large problem in this assumption. Rose hadn't woken up yet. It had been 8 days and she still hadn't woken from her slumber. The doctors estimated that there would be a 1-3 day period at the latest where she would be sleeping, her brain repairing itself. Unfortunately she had been in a coma for 8 days and counting. All of her vital signs were normal, heart beat regular, brain activity normal but she just wasn't waking up.

The doctors were baffled at this and everyone was praying that she'd wake up soon. Her mother had kept away from the hospital as much as possible. Her mother was never one for waiting so she kept herself busy with work at the law firm, taking care of business and occasionally going in to check up on Rose, only to see that Jem was sitting by her side every second of the way. She was happy that there was someone there for Rose, someone there to support her in a way she never could, even for her own daughter.

Jem sat on the cushioned chair next to her bed yet again. He'd been coming after school every day and whenever he could on the weekends to sit with Rose, waiting for her to wake up. The doctors said that she could hear the people around her and was aware of her surroundings, just needing that extra push to wake up. Every day since, either him, Tessa or William would come by and read to her. Her favourites were crime novels and he was currently half way through one of Agatha Christie's with her. He was currently rifling through his shoulder bag looking for the book when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Checking it, he had received a text message from William saying that he and Tessa were coming over to visit Rose today.

Jem ran a hand through his lank hair, leaning against the chair and just staring at Rose, taking in every detail of her delicate face. Her brown hair was cut short for the operation and it was almost a bob now, a small part at the back of her head completely shaved off and bandaged as well to promote healing and no scars. He watched her chest rise and fall rhythmically. Watching her lead to thoughts of when she would wake up. The doctors said she should have been awake after a few days, but it's been 8 which was pushing it. He was a patient person overall and didn't mind waiting, he would wait for her. But he couldn't help but think _'what if she never wakes up?' _and that thought haunted him, constantly flooding his mind at the dead of night when he tried so hard to fall asleep. Soon enough William and Tessa had arrived saving Jem from his own thoughts and worries.

"Hey, you look drained. Did you get any sleep last night?" Tessa asked, walking into Rose's private room at the hospital, giving Jem a hug.

"Couldn't sleep last night." Jem said with a shrug, greeting William with a hug as well. The three of them sat back down on the chairs and lounge's in the room, dragging them closer to the bed.

"Why don't you two get something to eat, I'll read first." Tessa offered, mostly speaking to William, subtly pleading for him to take Jem out and take care of him. Poor Jem hadn't taken the whole situation too well, he'd broken down after the 5th day of waiting, explaining to William that he now knows he loves Rose and he wouldn't be able to take it if she lost her memory, forgetting all of them and most importantly forgetting him.

"Come on, there's a delicious take-out place across the road." William said, pulling Jem out of the chair and out of the room, not before pecking Tessa on the cheek.

Tessa sighed, grabbing the book and situating it in her lap. She looked over at her friend and prayed that she would wake up soon. Tessa actually met Rose when she had first arrived in London. Being new to the country Tessa hadn't known how to get around town, but Rose had offered up her help, getting Tessa back to the hotel safely. Tessa had never gotten Rose's contact details so a few months back when Rose was admitted to the ICU unit when the three had started their community service, Tessa was surprised to see her there. Nevertheless they re-kindled their friendship and became quite close. Tessa had hoped that Rose's condition wouldn't get worse; it was hard to see someone so young in that situation, especially a friend.

Tessa flipped open to the first page of the crime novel, starting again because she had no idea where Jem had stopped as there was no book mark.

"Murder on the Orient Express." Tessa read the title aloud, her voice echoing throughout the silent room. Tessa continued to read, getting through the very first few chapters before Jem and William had arrived back. Jem looked better, happier. Tessa was glad that the two boys went out alone for a little bit, they needed some time together and Jem needed to take his mind of Rose. Between juggling school and sick friends it took a toll on all of them. Being without their parents they took the meaning to family more seriously than others and they promised Rose they'd be there for her, wether she was sick or not. They all stayed in the room for another hour or so, making jokes, telling stories and trying to talk to Rose, who lay still as stone in the bed. What they didn't notice whilst talking amongst themselves was the small spike in her heart rate and the minute movement of one of her fingers. Her body was slowly waking up. About an hour later Tessa and William both bid their goodbyes and left for the night.

"You better wake up soon Rose; Nigel tried to snatch your sketchbook again when he came to visit." Jem joked, taking Rose's hand in his own, rubbing circles on the back of her palm with his thumb.

"Just give me a sign your there, open your eyes, make a noise, wiggle your toes…anything." Jem whispered his voice breaking, looking at her intently for any movement. Just as he was about to give up and suck away for the rest of the night walking home like he did for the past week, he felt a slight pressure on his hand, her nimble fingers squeezing his, causing a grin to break out on his face and a shaky laugh to erupt from his throat. Her body had responded to his voice, just like Henry said it might.

"Thank the angel Rose." He mumbled, smiling like an idiot, kissing her on the forehead and leaving the room to call Doctor Branwell and inform him of Rose's response.

Jem arrived back with Doctor Branwell, but Rose was still in her coma. Her vital signs did seem to be regulating more often, and there was definitely movement so it was a good sign. Henry sent Jem home for the night though, promising he would call him if there were any updates with Rose's condition.

Jem told Tessa and William the news immediately the next day, hope overcoming his emotions. He knew that she'd wake up within the next few days; he didn't expect that she'd be awake that morning, whilst he was at school. Half-way during class he was called to Charlotte's office, and she informed him of the improvement and that she was waking up and responsive. Jem pleaded to be excused early from class which Charlotte granted and he went straight over to the hospital, prepared for the best but not expecting the worst.

Rose could feel her body starting to kick into gear, her body alert. Her blue eyes fluttered open and she tried to look around the room but it was all blurry. She tried to sit up but realised that it was probably a bad idea. There was a deep throbbing pain in her head. Her body ached, most likely due to the stiff hospital bed she was lying on. At that thought her face dropped and her eyes flew wide open. She blinked a few times getting a now clear view of where she was, but that was the thing… she wasn't exactly sure of where she was. She started to panic, her breathing becoming rapid and she heard a beeping noise, and as her breathing became laboured the noise grew louder and louder, scaring her even more. Suddenly a man and a lady came rushing into the room. One was tall with red hair and was wearing a white lab coat, carrying a notepad in his hand and the other was walking towards her; she was wearing a blue outfit, matching shirt and pants. She stared at them for a moment as they checked on the machines and needles in her arm.

"Where am I?" she asked, staring at the man with red hair, who seemed to give off a kind vibe. He gulped loudly, before placing a hand on hers.

"I'm Doctor Branwell; if you want you can call me Henry. You are at the Royal Idris hospital Rose. Don't you remember?" he asked, hoping she at least remembered something, but all he got in response was her shaking her head and tears falling down her face.

"I-I don't remember anything... only that my name is Rose." She said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"It's alright love, we'll help you through it." He reassured her, and then went onto his doctorial duties, doing health checks to make sure that she was alright, after all her body had been unresponsive for 8 days. About an hour and 40 minutes later there was a frantic knock on the door. At this point Rose was in her room alone, the nurse and Henry had left her to rest and to inform her mother of her current condition. Apparently her mother couldn't get out of the meeting she was in but would be there later on tonight. She couldn't get up to move so she just called out that it was alright for whoever it was to come in. She thought it was possibly a nurse, or maybe her mother coming early, which she wasn't looking forward to, after all how could she forget her own mother. What she didn't expect was the boy to walk through the door, probably around her age and by the angel was he beautiful. His dark brown hair and delicate eyes made her feel safe, she felt like she'd seen his face somewhere before. He broke out into a smile when his eyes met hers and he ran over to her bed, bringing her into a hug. She hadn't predicated that, she didn't know what do to so she sort of just sat still. Who was this gorgeous guy and why was he hugging her? He seemed to notice that she wasn't hugging back and he released her from the awkward situation they'd gotten themselves into.

"Rose?" he said her name, questioning whether she was there or not. She gulped, the doctor had explained to her about her situation and so far she was taking it quite well, but right now she felt like she was missing out on something that she didn't want to.

"I don't know who you are. Doctor Branwell explained to me that I lost my memory. I'm sorry." She whispered, grimacing when she saw the hurt in his eyes and she felt guilty for it, but she couldn't think of one reason why she should feel guilty about hurting a stranger's feelings. Cute guy (she decided that would be his name from now on since she didn't know his real one.) looked at her for a moment in silence as though he was summing up this all in his head.

"You don't remember anything?" cut guy asked, a heavy weight resting on his chest.

"No." Rose's eyes drooped slightly and she shook her head, looking down at the blanket disappointed. She really wanted to remember everything and who he was.

"Oh." He said, slumping down into the chair next to the bed. Jem put his head in his hands, unsure of what to do. She'd forgotten, she promised she wouldn't. She promised him. He held back the tears and looked up at Rose. She looked so confused and scared. He gave himself another moment to compose his emotions and put his hand out to hers.

"My name's Jem." He said, putting on a smile for her. He couldn't begin to fathom how she felt. He just hoped that she wouldn't be scared or put off by his obviously strange behaviour from her point of view.

So Jem was his name. She wondered if it was short for something. She studied him for a moment, putting her hand out to his and shaking it, smiling for the first time that day, she felt comfortable and that's all she could ask for at this point.

"Nice to meet you Jem." She laughed softly. For the next few hours til visiting time was over, the two sat in the same spots and Jem filled her in on her situation, and told her about him and her old life. She was thankful for having someone like him as one of her friends, even though she couldn't remember she was sure that she cherished this friendship and she slowly eased into the facts about her life. But then there was this constant nagging voice at the back of her head, saying that she'd never remember, that she'd never be able to fit in with this friendship he talked of, never be able to understand them the way she had before. This left a seed of doubt buried in her mind. If she never remembered wouldn't it just hurt them all in the long run? The right thing would be to keep them all away until she did remember, instead of having people that presumably cared about her, seeing her everyday and not being able to connect with her, talk with her, without her being confused as to what they were referring too. It would be cruel to let them have hope when she didn't even have hope herself that her condition would improve in the long run. She needed to tell him this, whether it hurt him or not, because it was the truth. Soon enough it was time for Jem to leave and the nurse came in to notify him of the time.

"I best be going, I'll see you later, I'll bring William and Tessa next time so you can meet them." Jem smiled, standing up and gathering his bag, throwing it over his shoulder. Even though she couldn't remember anything, he was still ecstatic that she was awake and healthy in every other aspect.

"Uh-m Jem." She stated before he walked out the room, pausing when he turned to look at her.

"I-I know that I was your friend before, but there might be a chance that I won't remember, and… I don't want you to get your hopes up that I will..." she said slowly, awaiting his reaction. He just smiled, though she could tell that he was hurt by her words, understanding that there was that possibility she'd never get her memory back.

"Doesn't mean I'll give up on you." He admitted before walking out of the room and closing the door, his words burning their way into her heart.

**Aaaaah. She's doubting herself and that's not good… is it? You tell me. It took me a while to get this written, not much goes on, or so I think. I hope you enjoy it and pray that chapter 3 will be even more extravagant. So here is chapter two, if you review, chapter 3 shall be up within the next day or two since it is the weekend. **

**Sneak Peak – Next time on "Remember Me?" – Chapter 3. O.o**

"_Rose I love you, and there is no way in this world that I am giving up on you, do you hear me?" Jem confessed, his hands resting on her shoulders as the tears fell from both of their eyes. _


	3. Please Don't Say You Love Me

**Chapter 3 – Please Don't Say You Love Me. **

"_Please don't say you love me, cos I might not say it back. Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when, you look at me like that."_

It had been 73 days, 45 minutes and 7 seconds since Jem said that he wouldn't give up on her, and he was true to his word. Whenever he had the time he would be at the hospital, bringing in things of Rose's that he got from her mother to try and jog her memory. William and Tessa came to visit every few days as well and after the 35th day she was discharged from hospital and on her way back home which was conveniently a few blocks away from the Institute boarding school. She was currently sitting in her room, her legs crossed on her bed. She flipped to the next page of the brochure, looking at all of the different courses that the university's around town offered, and the scholarships she could apply for. After all she hadn't finished her senior year, being occupied with her health matters. There was the University of Arts which caught her eye. A few days ago she had explored her house, getting to know the workings of the vintage home and she stumbled across what her mother described to be her art room. Inside were some of the most magnificent paintings she's ever laid eyes on. She couldn't believe it when her mother told her that these were all of her own. She even went to double check the scrawled signature at the bottom of the paintings to make sure that it was hers. Jem had also given her a sketchbook which she'd given to him before the operation. There were countless amounts of drawings and sketches in the book and she became flustered when she realised towards the end of the book there were multiple sketches of Jem, some even shirtless and she prayed that he'd not seen them.

University would be starting within the next few months and she wanted to make sure that she got in her applications before the deadline. She didn't want to just sit around waiting for her memory to come back; she wanted to try any move on. Unfortunately along with that thought of moving on came back to her friends. William, Tessa and Jem. She loved their company but she couldn't help but feel that they would always expect something more from her, someone else, someone she never knew. Her thoughts were caught short by the doorbell ringing. She got up off her bed slowly, trying not to pull her bandages by moving too fast like she did a few weeks back. She threw on a jumper over her singlet and leggings, trying to dress more modestly whilst answering the door. When she opened the door she was happy to see Jem but again that nagging voice kept saying that he was only here to wait for her memory to get back, for her old self. She smiled politely, moving to the side and opening the door up for Jem who looked like he was freezing even with his grey jumper and large coat.

"Afternoon Rose, how are you feeling today?" Jem asked as he walked inside and slipped off his coat onto a hanger and in the closet beside the front door of her house.

"Good and you?" she greeted him with a long hug and he responded by wrapping his arms around her fondly and holding her close, the two just being comfortable in each other's embrace. She felt so much more relaxed and actually happy, the nagging voice in her brain had disappeared and she enjoyed the peace and quiet and the way Jem's arms felt around her. They'd hugged longer than normal friends would, and she blushed turning away and he awkwardly coughed and then the two went upstairs to her bedroom where they could hang out.

"There's just too many options." Rose complained to Jem, motioning to the large pile of brochures and advertisements for all the Universities in London. He just laughed, placing a hand on hers and giving her a teasing glance.

"I know it's devastating, but you'll get through it." He joked and she laughed, picking up the UOA brochure again and looking at it.

"I was thinking of UOA, they've got an amazing art's program going on and mum said she might be able to pull a few strings so that I could get a consideration, since I didn't finish my senior year." She said, contemplating what it'd be like to go there. The course though consisted of two Majors. Arts and Music or Arts and History. She wasn't sure what her strengths were but if she wasn't good with one she could always go with the other option.

"I actually got a scholarship for UOA, the double degree majoring in Arts and Music; I got in through my Violin audition a few weeks ago." Jem mentioned to her and they both internally loved the idea of seeing each other at University all the time. It'd be rather daft if they both attended other places, all over London. It'd be harder to see each other and most of all commute, meaning they'd have to move closer to their selected paths.

"Any idea which course you'd choose?" He asked.

"I was thinking about Art and History. I'm not sure that I'd be able to make it in with Music, after all I'm not that talented in that department." She laughed. "But I'm sure History would be interesting. The topics for the year are mostly about Ancient Greek and Rome, and there's even a bridging course for 3 weeks in Rome which would be amazing to go to." She said, and they sat in silence for a while longer, both of them laying down on her bed, side by side, her hand resting close to his as they enjoyed the comfortable silence.

"Have you remembered anything lately?" Jem asked, and then scolded himself for doing so. If she had she would have told him and now she was probably going to put up her walls, like she always did when anyone asked her this question.

"No." she said, clearing her throat and looking around her room, trying to avoid that topic all together, because all it did was bring back all of her doubts. The past few days she even felt like her own mother was pushing her into remembering, it's not like there was anything she could do to speed up the process and she just wished that they'd all accept her for the new person she was, not someone she couldn't remember.

"I-I just wanted to know, because you filmed some video diaries before the operation and I thought you might want to watch them, see if it jogs your memory." He said hopeful, popping off the bed and taking them out of his bag and placing it on her desk, opposite from the bed.

"You can take them, the videos I mean. I don't want to watch them." She said, avoiding his eye contact.

"Rose, I didn't mean to upset you. I thought if you watched them you might get an idea of what your past life was like." Jem said calmly.

"I don't want to know Jem." She shot back, biting her lip to keep all of her insecurities in. She felt like he was trying to get her to be this other person, her past self. The incessant voice came back, voicing her doubts once again and she internally cursed herself.

"What's this really about?" he asked, taking a step forward and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What is this about? This is about you and everyone in my life trying to get me to remember! I'm trying so hard to but nothing works and I-I just feel like everyone just cares about the old me and is waiting for her to come back." She spat out, tears springing in her eyes.

"That's not my intention Rose, I'm sorry if it came across that way, we just want to try and help you in the long run." Jem said, running a hand through his hair.

"Really, because it doesn't seem that way, not just from you, from everyone. No one really cares."

"Rose, I love you, memory or not and there's no way in this world that I am giving up on you, do you hear me?" Jem confessed, his hands resting on her shoulders as the tears fell from both of their eyes. Her heart was stuck in her throat and she just stared at Jem incredulously before looking down. He couldn't love her, no no no. He couldn't… could he?

"Y-you don't love me…N-no…There's nothing anyone can do that'll make me remember, so just forget about it." Rose whispered harshly, jumping off her bed and going into her bathroom and slamming the door shut, clicking the lock. The tears poured out of her blue eyes furiously and she couldn't take it anymore. It was all too much stress and now her head was hurting and she couldn't think straight. Jem was surprised at her outburst, he'd never seen her angry before and now he felt guilty for bringing it up. He had the urge to go and comfort her, but knew better. He just couldn't understand why she felt that way. He'd love her whether she had her memory back or not, she was still the same person and nothing was going to change that or the way that he felt for her. Though it did hurt for her to say that, he figured that she just needed some time on her own, so he'd give her some space. He picked up his bag, casting a second glance back at the door and the videos' sitting on her desk before leaving her house.

She sat on the cold tiles of her bathroom floor for the next half hour or so, weeping silently before creeping out back into her bedroom. Jem was gone. She'd expected that much, why would he stay when she snapped at him and he had just proclaimed his love for her. By the angel, she wasn't sure what was even going on anymore. Was he in love with her, the old her, the new her, she wasn't so sure. She went downstairs and there was a note on the fridge.

"_Going out for dinner with some colleagues, I'll be back at 11pm. Love Mum." _The note said, she pulled it off the fridge and scrunched it up, throwing it away in the bin. Rose opened up her fridge and found the leftovers from last night's pasta and warmed herself up a small bowl. She wasn't in the mood to eat, but she was on anti-biotic's and medication that she needed to take after a meal otherwise she just felt bloated and like puking. After eating and taking the various amounts of pills she was prescribed she poured herself a glass of water and trudged up the stairs and into her room. The guilt was weighing in on her chest now and she felt so bad for yelling at Jem like that. He just told her he loved her and what did she do, scream in his face. He was just trying to help her and she threw it all back in his face. As soon as she reached her bedroom, she climbed into bed and pulled the covers up, snuggling into the warmth it offered and tried her hardest not to cry.

She spent the next few days in solitary confinement. Jem hadn't come to visit her again and her mother had complained to her about staying in cooped up in her room all day. The only time she left her bed was to get food or use the bathroom. She felt so bad for what she did but there was nothing she could do, she tried calling Jem's phone but it was turned off and she couldn't bring herself to leave a voicemail without feeling like she would break down any second.

She went out for a walk around town for the first time that day, she'd gone to a small bookstore/café called Minnie's and bumped into Tessa. The two spoke for a while before Tessa asked her if she was okay, which led to a conversation about her fight with Jem.

"I-I didn't mean to and now, now he probably hates me." Rose admitted and Tessa brought her in for a hug.

"It's okay, you of all people have the right to be upset and frustrated, after all it's your body this is happening to. And Jem, he could never hate you Rose." Tessa said, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"I guess so. I better be going, mum doesn't like me to be out too late these days." Rose said, departing from the bookstore and walking back home. As soon as she got home she flopped on her bed, the soft blanket scrunching up beneath her lanky form. Her head was turned to the left, facing her desk and she saw the videos sitting there. She took a deep breath before getting up and inspecting the videos. The only way she was going to get answers and an idea of what was going on was to watch them, so that's what she did.

She put the first disc into her computer and clicked play; not exactly sure of what she'd expect to see on the screen.

"I'm not exactly sure where to start, but I guess if you're watching this it means that I've lost my memory. A few days ago I decided that I'd do a video diary of each day til my operation, some of them just talking about my day, others about my past that's been lost." Her voice said coming out of the speakers. It was weird to see herself in the videos. Her skin was a lighter colour, pale even and her hair much longer, the curls coming down to her elbows at least. The girl in the video looked weak and sick compared to her now healthy body.

"Thought I might get started with some facts about myself, my birthday is November 21st. Which is actually the date of my operation, not that anyone knows besides my mother and doctor." Her recorded said self before clearing her voice. Rose was surprised that she hadn't even bothered to inquire of the simple things like when her birthday was or what star sign she had.

"Star sign is Sagittarius; my favourite colour would have to be red, pure blood red." her voice chuckled, brushing her long hair out of her face.

"Wow this feels so weird talking to a video camera. I guess this is all sort of pointless, even if I record each and every detail about my life, there's no way I could ever connect with it on that level. What I'm trying to say is, don't dwell on the past. Start a new, and take it easy on everyone else and no matter what happens don't give up hope..." The girl on the computer screen sighed, turning off the camera, finishing the entry.

Rose watched some more, even a few of them featured Jem and they just talked about their day and little things. As she watched the videos, she realised that even if she couldn't remember these things, she learned some things about herself and she felt like a complete idiot for fighting with Jem. Her video self had even predicted that something like this would happen and scolded herself in the future.

"And please, do not fight with Jem. I don't care how hard it gets, how isolated you feel. Do not push him away. He's the one thing in this world that makes it worth it."

"Of course your best friend Tessa doesn't make it worth it." Tessa teased in the video, bringing Rose into a giant hug, continuing to tease Rose making her blush.

"Sshhh Tessa, we can't tell my future self that." Rose said sarcastically.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she already knows, I mean it'd be hard not to when you blush every time Jem walks in the room." Tessa giggled causing Rose to roll her eyes.

"BYE." Both girls chimed the video diary finishing.

Rose looked at the black screen, and she knew that she had to go and apologize in person if anything. She picked up her phone that was sitting on her side table. Her fingers hovered over Jem's name and she wondered if he'd even pick up. Would he want to talk to her? No, she needed to apologize, so she clicked his name and held the phone to her ear waiting for the dial tone. It ran for a minute or two before it went to the voice mail message.

"Jem. U-I-We we need to talk. I'm sorry for how I reacted, I just. Can we talk please? I'll be at the park in an hour." She hung up, taking in a deep breath. He knew what park she was talking about so she prayed that he'd come.

She threw on a coat and made her way to the park, sitting on the wooden bench in silence. She sat there and waited for Jem to come. Eventually she saw him in the distance, walking towards her and she stood up. She didn't know what to say so when he came all she did was jump him with a hug. Her arms went around his neck and his were planted on her waist.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She mumbled into his chest.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. I'm sorry for bringing up the topic. I know it's not your fault." Jem said, kissing her forehead.

"I know, but I'm still sorry." She apologised yet again.

"It's okay, we'll get through it." Jem said nuzzling his head in her shoulder. They hadn't seen each other in nearly a week and it was starting to drive him insane. He'd gotten so use to seeing her every day, being around her that not doing so meant he couldn't function properly.

"I missed you." She whispered, still hugging him, stealing the warmth of his embrace.

"And I you." He chuckled kissing her on the cheek, causing her face to flush, which brought back some wise words from her past self and Tessa.

"Can we just pretend the last few days never happened?" She sighed, staring up into Jem's gentle eyes.

"Everything that happened in the last few days?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. She had never responded to his declaration and he was beginning to wonder if she felt the same way or not.

"No, not everything. During my outrageous outburst I didn't get a chance to say something to you, that I should have a long time ago." She said, biting her lip.

"And what's that." He asked, brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

"I love you too." And that's all she had to say before he broke out in a grin and brought her in for a long overdue kiss.

**TADA - the end. **

**So i hope you enjoyed that multi-fic mini story. ;) **

**I tried my best to get this done this weekend, it's 3000+ words which i was happy with, and i hope you enjoyed the end results and it wasn't too bad. Please Review! Love you all. **

**Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns all her characters, i own my plot, OC, etc. **


End file.
